Art Linkletter and the five penises.

Some of you will have never have heard of Art Linkletter, 1912 to 2010.  He was a stable of daytime television when I was a child.  He once wrote a book "Kids say the darnest things."  Some of you may remember that Bill Cosby picked up the mantle with his show in the 70's.

My son says the darnest things too.  When he was 4 or 5, my wife was trying to answer questions about where baby's come from.  She was using all the clinical terms.  A baby is formed in the uterus, then comes out the vagina.  I told her, "You sure you want to do that?"

Time passed.  One Sunday afternoon we were in my wife's home office.  She was at her desk and I was laying on the sofa.  My son comes in and asks my wife, "Show me your china."  My wife is puzzled, why does our son want to she her mother's china dishes.  He says it again, this time placing his hands on her knees.  I got it and I fall off the sofa laughing.  My wife is still puzzled.  Then he says, "Show me your china, I'll be you best friend."  My wife got it.  I then said, "Hun, I bet that's not the first time you heard that."

Once on a family trip, the silence was broken when out of the blue my son asks, "Do all girls have a universe?"  Yes, son they do and they know it.

I have been teaching my children to shoot.  I have stressed safety and gun handling rules.  Treat every gun as though it is loaded and never point a gun at anything you don't want to destroy.  Recently there was an article about a 18 year old Florida boy, Michael Smeriglio, who shot off his penis and testicle while "Cleaning" his gun.  I printed out the article and took it home to drive home the lesson.  My son pondered this story for sometime, then asked, "How will he go to the bathroom now?"  To which I replied, "I guess he'll have to sit like a girl."  There was a puzzled look on his face as he pondered his next question.  He then asked with a certain sense of surprise, "Girls have to sit to pee?"  "Why?"  To which I replied, "Plumbing's different, go ask your mother."

The past few years, my wife has had a both at the state fair.  We trailer our Welch pony and miniature pony and she uses them to introduce equine assisted psycho therapy to the public.  I took the opportunity to take my son through the livestock barns.  The baby lambs are always my favorite.  We go to the dairy barn.  There, folks of all ages are washing and brushing there show bovine.  The barn has a fully equipped milking room, as these dairy cattle still produce milk, even when being shown.  We walk up on a very nice lady who engages my son and begins to tell him about her Jersey cow.  She points to her udder and teats and then was left speechless when my son exclaims, "Look dad, 5 penises."